Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.

(214): View more from Texas

It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.

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(512): View more from Texas

I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra

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(904): View more from Florida

i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised

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(407): View more from Florida

the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.

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(510): View more from California

answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.

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(816): View more from Missouri

and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"

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