Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
