I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
