I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
