You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
