A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
