i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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