Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
