Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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