About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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