I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
