can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
