before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
