And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Pants are for mortals
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
