I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
