I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
