happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You took a bar mat shot.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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