u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
