just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
