normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
