This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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