fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
