that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
