He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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