everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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