Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
