I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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