Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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