Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
