If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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