Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
