i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
