Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
