dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
