He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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