So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
