I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
