Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
