Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
