We're facebook friends in real life
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I believe in your delicious
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
