I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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