we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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