Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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