Can Purell be used as lube?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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