it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
