I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Randomize
