you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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