My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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