I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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