I have demons in me.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize