I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
