We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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